Beef Pots NOW
by TheHineyGods
Summary: Kenshin goes to the Akabeko... a crazed, hungry man holds Kenshin hostage to get beef pots... who is his assailant?? R


Disclaimer: We don't own Kenshin... if we did, he would have probably killed us by now anyway considering we would have made many of the male characters have hot gay se-- -gets whacked by fish- Ok... ok.... we don't own Kenshin... 'nuff said.  
  
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Kenshin sat in a little booth in the Akabeko, quietly sipping his drink. His stomach rumbled, signaling his hunger.  
  
'I've been waiting for quite a while, that I have,' Kenshin thought to himself. He felt his stomach rumble again.  
  
Suddenly the good, kind Kenshin was pushed to the back of his mind and the Battousai took hold.  
  
"Bring me my beef pot, woman!" the Battousai yelled, slamming his fist down on the table.  
  
Everyone turned to stare at the yellow-eyed, seething Battousai, who glowered at them. The customers, along with the employees, fled as he unsheathed his sword.  
  
The Battousai rose and ambled over to the nearest window. Outside, a crowd had formed, mainly consisting of people who had been in the restaurant. Among them stood Kaoru, Yahiko, and Sano, who had been down the street when they had heard the commotion.  
  
Battousai held his sword to his forehead and shouted out at the crowd.  
  
"Beef pots, NOW! Or the wanderer gets it!"  
  
The crowd gasped. Yahiko blinked and scratched his head. "He's...holding himself hostage?"  
  
The nicer Kenshin emerged for a second, violet eyes returning.  
  
"Everyone, go! He's violent...and hungry!" And with that, Kenshin was gone.  
  
The Battousai slapped his sword to his forehead once again, causing Kaoru to let out a strangled cry.  
  
"Kenshin! NO!" she yelled, falling to her knees. Tear spilled from her eyes as she pounded her fists on the ground.  
  
The Battousai looked on, a disgruntled look crossing his face.  
  
"What does the wanderer see in her?" he asked himself out loud.  
  
Someone in the crowd threw a half-eaten apple through the window, hoping to calm the hungry Battousai.  
  
The apple happened to hit the Battousai in the face. He growled, grabbed his sheath, and flung it at the person who had thrown the apple.  
  
Everyone shrieked and ran away frantically, causing mass chaos in the streets.  
  
"No produce! BEEF POTS!!" Battousai yelled, causing Kaoru, Yahiko, and Sano to gasp dramatically.  
  
"Why don't we just give him the beef pots?" Yahiko asked, glancing up at Sano and Kaoru.  
  
"No!" Sano shook his head. "We can't give in to his demands so easily! Kenshin's life is on the line! He might kill his hostage if we give him the beef pots."  
  
Yahiko blinked. "But he IS his hostage!"  
  
"Exactly! And that makes this situation all the more dangerous," Sano replied. He grabbed the nearest person by the shirt. "Get the police! Tell them that we have a hostage situation at the Akabeko!"  
  
The man nodded and scurried off. Sano turned as the Battousai spoke again.  
  
"You have thirty minutes to deliver the goods, or your wanderer friend will never see the light of another day!"  
  
Yahiko shook his head sadly. His friends were morons and wouldn't listen to him.  
  
Back inside the Akabeko, the Battousai had left the window and had begun pacing inside.  
  
"Insolent fools. As if produce could satiate the Battousai's hungry!" he grumbled to himself, glancing out the window.  
  
Outside, people were standing in small groups, consulting one another about where they had been when Kenshin had his breakdown.  
  
After several minutes, the police arrived outside the Akabeko. They spoke to some witnesses for information, then approached the restaurant.  
  
The Battousai returned to the window, placing the blade of his sword back to his forehead. "Stay back!"  
  
The police officers stopped waking. The paused to discuss the situation, then turned to the Battousai.  
  
"Ok, let's try to reach an agreement. First, you'll release your hostage, then we'll give you the beef pots," one of the officers shouted to him.  
  
Yahiko gritted his teeth. "He is his hostage!" he screamed at the police. "He can't release himself!"  
  
Sano whacked Yahiko on the head to hush him. "Be quiet, the police are trying to save Kenshin!"  
  
The Battousai stood his ground, slamming the sword against his forehead again to emphasize the danger his hostage was in.  
  
The police began to surround the Akabeko.  
  
"Release the hostage or we'll attack!" shouted an officer, shaking his fist for effect.  
  
The Battousai let out an evil laugh.  
  
"As if you and your weak little police force could defeat me, the Battousai!" he said, adding emphasis to who he was.  
  
"We don't care if you're the Battousai or some cheap bum! If you don't release the hostage, we're going to attack."  
  
The Battousai growled and pushed the blade of the sword against his forehead harder. "No beef pots, no deal!"  
  
The police readied themselves for an attack, and were about to charge at the Akabeko, when Yahiko shouted.  
  
"Stop!" He ran to a nearby police officer and handed him a beef pot. "Give him this."  
  
"Why, that's just crazy enough to work!" the police officer exclaimed, taking the beef pot.  
  
The officer slowly walked toward the window of the Akabeko, glancing back at Yahiko.  
  
Yahiko motioned him forward.  
  
The officer stepped up to the Battousai and held out the beef pot in his shaking hand.  
  
The Battousai snatched the beef pot from him and returned to his table.  
  
The crowd waited nervously for about ten minutes.  
  
Suddenly, Kenshin walked out of the Akabeko, smiling.  
  
"That was a good beef pot, that it was," he said, patting his stomach.  
  
The crowd cheered. "Kenshin made it out safely!" Sano shouted, unnecessarily pointing out the obvious.  
  
Kenshin joined his friends, smiling happily. He was immediately latched onto by Kaoru. "You're safe! I thought he was going to kill you!" she cried.  
  
Yahiko sweatdropped. "I'm surrounded by morons..." he sighed to himself.  
  
The crowd dispersed a short time later, and Kenshin, Kaoru, Sano, and Yahiko skipped back to the Kamiya dojo, and they all lived happily ever after, except for the rare occasion in which Kenshin went schitzo.  
  
-=-=-=-Owari!-=-=-=-  
  
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Review... please... we like to get those pretty little reviews in our mailbox and say, "Look, somebody actually takes the time to read the stuff that we come up with and tell us whether it sucked or not!" So, please... just review... 


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